others. "Kathy" wasn't so sure if she wanted to go at first, but with a little encouraging, I managed to talk her into going, and now since I really want to go, she wants to go also. I am very curious and I want to know as much as I can on transvestitism. I am looking forward to attending a meeting. I have so many questions, but it's because I want to help make Kathy as happy as can be. Gwen Illinois

Dear Carol: Enclosed is my dues for the year. For many years, I felt that my story was much like others who have written for 'Transvestia.' Then it occurred to me that I can tell some of it which is different than others but it also points up how com- pletely ignorant I was of "cross- dressing" during my teen years, even though I would put on my mother's dresses.

""

I grew up in rural India where my parents were mission- aries. In the 1930's, transvestitism was not well known and especial- ly not in a small town in India. In our home, we had an “ayah,' a native woman to do the house work and to take care of us children when we were small. Living with the “ayah” were her two sisters in the native quarters. One of the sisters, D (her first initial), would dress as a man at all times. I never saw her wearing a "sari," the garment of the women in India. She would walk like a man when she would go to work at the local hospital which is when I would generally see her. The only part of her which was feminine was her hair which she wore in a bun like the other women.

It wasn't until 1970 when I went back to India for a visit that the the missionary woman where I was staying talked of D, "the woman who dressed as a man," that I realized for the first time that the two of us had something in common. During the 30's, I took so much

for granted, that I didn't think "D" dressed as a man was so unusual.

Donna

KS-5-1

Dear Carol: Thank you so much for the opportunity of following your spirit and exploring, guilt- free, the wonderful world of crossdressing, and especially for publications available for suf- fering souls having felt too alone, too long.

When I married my hus- band, I knew tender feeling were locked up so deeply inside, and his perceptions of his own sensi- tivity embarrassed him. For years before he met me, and unknown to me, during our eight years together, his locked up womanhood took a devastat- ing toll on his stability. For although he purchased, read, traded back and read some more, I had not even been

aware of this material. Five years ago, after the birth of our child, I had suggested he not "dress up as Debbie." So, all these years, he's had to keep even me from knowing.

His personality was SO damaged as a result of this, that his violent explosions of destructive temper began to take their toll on my daughter as well as myself, not to mention my poor dying friend, "Debbie." For Debbie's existence, in my husband, needed air and under- standing. And my husband is my best friend, both masculine and feminine.

Sometimes we are girls together and explore the world of makeup, clothes, etc., and even loving. Then suddenly we both feel that we want a hetero- sexual relationship.

Since Debbie is a regular nightly (and weekend) guest at our home, a partner in our relationship, and alive freely in both our thoughts always, we seem to feel tension-free in our work, play, and conversation.

Now I share his literature and enjoy purchasing lovely 45

little gifts for her. WE are very happy.

Love, Joan

New Jersey

Dear Carol: I'm writing now to tell you about my experience in the hospital. I thought I had a stomach cramp-and ended up having my appendix removed.

To make me comfortable as a man, I wear red polish on my toenails. In the hospital when my mother saw this, she gave me a look that told me how mad she was. The nurse that took my socks off the next day for a sponge bath didn't seem to be shocked by my toes.

My mother's reaction told me that she will never under- stand my wanting to dress as a woman does.

As soon as I am on my feet dollar-wise, I am going to look for an apartment in the

next

town. That way I can relax completely as I wish after the day is over. Living with my parents keeps me from looking forward to anything on days when I feel a great need to be dressed as a woman. I didn't know there were sisters in Missouri. I can't wait to write to them.

I am very proud to be a member of a group of individuals that want to be happy with themselves and not hurt anyone.

Sandra Maria

MO-300-H

Dear Carol: Sorry about not writing sooner. I did receive my order and I really like your Cover Girl idea. I think you are doing a teriffic job with Tvia.

I will not be joining the sorority at the present time. My wife prefers to keep Julie at home. She has been very helpful to Julie, so I will go along with her wishes.

About nine years ago, I had an unpleasant experience while "out." It was very hard on my wife as well as myself.